Counting The Stars
by IchBinAufKurs
Summary: Zim had learned all he could about the human race from school; the only thing left to do before he destroyed the world was hands-on experience with human anatomy. He had everything planned; after studying Dib he would erase his memory, allowing him to carry out earth's destruction. What he didn't have planned was the meaningful conversation they'd have afterwards. #ZaDr #AnOxymoron


**Deliver Me From Mine Enemies.**

* * *

Dib awoke to find his body constrained by machines. He looked around trying to identify the place, but it was no use. Yet, judging by the technology he knew this had to be the work of "Zim!" he called, "You won't get away with this!" he said as he struggled to break free. "You're going to regret th-"

"Silence, Dib!" Zim yelled as he rolled his chair over to another computer.

He typed something on a keyboard, bringing up some Human Anatomy pictures on his holograms and computer screens. He rolled back to the other computer, pressing a button that brought Dib closer to him. He stood up and walked towards him, taunting him as he said, "You've probably heard rumors that aliens experiment on humans through probing, but rest assured that the Irken race is not associated with that type of experimentation. No, no. We're interested in a far more complex way at looking at your species. We seek to study every aspect of the human brain, psychologically, philosophically, etcetera, etcetera. If you comply with me I can assure you it will be painless, but if you don't I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand."

"But why me?! Why couldn't you just pick someone off the streets?"

"Is that reluctance I hear? Don't test me, Dib. Killing you would save me a lot of time and it would make the whole thing easier for me."

Dib trembled in fear of what was to come. He looked at the pictures around the room, ideas forming in his head of what he was going to be put through. He wanted to ask, but knew better, so he waited.

"You must be asking yourself what I want from you, and I guess you deserve an answer, so let me make this quick." He said, getting a strange device from one of his desks. "I have this tool that will allow me to look at your inner organs without actually making any cuts. I'm just looking to verify what I've already read on human texts. I will then ask you a number of questions that you must answer to the best of your ability."

"So it's kinda like an X-ray? That doesn't sound so bad."

"So you won't cause me any trouble if I release you?"

There was a hint of reluctance on his part, but knowing the consequences he agreed and said, "No."

Zim pressed a button, releasing him and said, "Now, remove your clothes. This shouldn't take long."

"You want me to what?!" Dib exclaimed.

"The device doesn't work with your clothes on. I tried it while you were passed out."

Reluctantly, Dib started to undress his shirt.

He wrote down Dib's behavior to his request while he finished undressing. "Now lay down." He demanded.

"Just one more question." Dib said as he got up on the examination bed, "If you're just interested in studying the brain, why are you gonna study the rest of my body?"

"The brain is connected to everything. It sends signals to the body so that it does what needs to be done. I want to see-" Zim stopped half way through his sentence, staring at the circumcision scar before him. He ran his finger through it, feeling the dry glans before asking, "What happened to your foreskin? Did it fall off?"

"It's a cultural thing, you wouldn't understand."

It took him a second to catch up, but he finally asked, "They did this to you, didn't they?"

"A few days after birth, but it's supposed to be cleaner."

"Cleaner? Are you calling me filthy?" The Irken said, taking his statement as offensive. "The Irken race is very hygienic if I do say so myself. The foreskin is not that hard to clean, you just pull it back when you shower, rinse it with water and that's it."

"But we have less chances of getting an STD."

"I'm sure you haven't forgotten about the existence of condoms so all of your filthy creatures can do your filthy business." He grunted, adding, "Not to mention, I've taken the liberty of reading some human documents before coming here today. Those texts specifically state that the human foreskin has 20,000 nerve endings, making sex more pleasurable. What do you have to say about that?"

"But circumcision is supposed to help you last longer during sex."

"At what cost? Think about it. The head of your penis is rubbing up against your underwear all day, making it dry and desensitizing it. I can't believe you're actually taking their side, trying to justify what they did to you."

"They can't actually prove it makes sex more enjoyable, can they?"

"Oh, Dib. Stop embarrassing yourself. I thought you were the scientific one. Just imagine how sensitive your penis would be if it was being protected by your foreskin instead of rubbing up against fabric all day. It's kinda common sense. Plus, more sensitivity to touch and not to mention the gliding motion and lubrication it provides."

"It's all just speculation as far as I'm concerned."

Zim pressed a button which quickly restrained Dib and turned the examination bed vertically. He pressed another button, bringing him at eye level with Dib as he pulled his own pants half way down, revealing his flaccid member.

"What are you doing?!" Dib asked as Zim got closer to him.

Zim aligned his penis with the human's and slowly pulled his foreskin over Dib's exposed glans.

Dib groaned as he felt the alien's foreskin around his member. It provided a source of warmth and comfort as some moisture began to form around his head. He felt Zim rub their heads together before pulling his foreskin back. The gliding motion was very smooth. It made him jealous. He wanted to have one of his very own. He could feel himself grow aroused at the thought so he begged, "Zim! If you regrow my foreskin I'll never bother you again!"

"It's impossible." Zim said.

"Not necessarily." Dib said, stopping Zim in his tracks, "I've heard of cases where stem cells are used to enhance and even regrow parts of the body, maybe you could-"

Trying to show a type of superiority, he walked away from his offer, asking, "Even if I could, why should I?"

"It would prove your knowledge of human anatomy and you could see how I react afterwards."

Zim pondered at that for a while and sad, "That could be useful."

* * *

"So that's it?" Dib asked as he got dressed.

"Okay, you can go now." Zim said as he took notes on his successful experiment.

"So I won't remember anything?"

"No." Zim said bluntly. "Just out of curiosity, how do you think you'll react when you find out?"

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm probably gonna freak out, but once I get over it I'm probably gonna like it so much I'm gonna write a book about it. I'll start a movement against circumcision because every person should have the right to bodily integrity, regardless of gender."

Zim nodded and wrote his answer down. "Did you hear me? I said you can go now."

"Can we just talk?" Dib said as insisted leaving the premises.

Seeing no harm in a little talk with someone who would lose his memory, Zim followed.

They eventually got lost in conversations about humanity, morality, and the universe, contemplating their existence as they lost track of where they were going. They found themselves on the edge of a cliff where they gazed at the stars. They sat down on the grass as Dib's most important question came.

"Why do you want to destroy the earth so badly?"

"I-" Zim began, "I-" He paused, giving his answer some thought before continuing, "Whenever I see the culture of other planets, I see such mindless stupidity I just don't think they're worthy of existence."

"As strange as it sounds, I sympathize, Zim. I don't want to live with most of these people either, but if you think about it, we're all made of the same things. We are the universe, but we were separated at the big bang. What does that say about us?"

Zim listened attentively as he continued.

"I feel like humanity has a lot of catching up to do. You might be a more advanced species in some things, but your species might've at one point been in the same infant stage we're in right now. Our species has developed empathy and any species with that can go pretty far."

Zim looked away. He didn't know what to think anymore.

* * *

**Author's Note: I considered this story having a similar ending as my other Invader Zim fanfic, but I decided against it. If you thought this was interesting, consider reading it. It's called "The New World" and it's not as graphic as this one. Cover picture is by deviantART user reynaruina.**


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